Trick or Treat!

In true fashion, Taylor and Jasmine changed their minds quite a few times about what they wanted to be for Halloween. In September Brooks took Taylor to see the Avengers at the movie theater and Taylor was also invited to his cousin's Avengers birthday party which sealed Taylor's fate as Iron Man. He's also figured out he is a lot like Iron Man and I can't help but think of the line from the movie where he calls himself a "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." We've got to work a bit on the philanthropy part for this kid, the billionaire bit and we can just skip the playboy thing.

We knew Jazzy would be a Princess and she eventually decided to be Aurora and then began telling everyone about it. EVERYONE. All cashiers for every store we visited during the month of October, strangers we passed on the sidewalk, Taylor's teachers and the school crossing guards, random citizens...you name it.

We went to Taylor's Harvest Festival at school last Thursday, then a Trunk or Treat on Saturday and found a fun neighborhood where quite a few houses were decorated to do our trick or treating. The kids had a blast and like all responsible parents, Brooks and I have been quality inspecting/tasting the candy.

Nothing to write...yet tons to write!

At first I thought I would just whip out a post and then end it with "Oh yes I did just write that post without mentioning how long it's been since my last post!"

I am feeling rather snarky and confident these days.

But, when I say down to write I had NADA! Not one thing!

If I went back and re-capped what it's been like since March or whenever I wrote last, this post would go on for-evah.

It will come out over time I suppose, but for now the big news is we are back in Phoenix. (Actually we've been back since June). Brooks LOVES his job, kids are happy and mom has time on her hands! And with all of this time I have been thinking a lot about what I need to do for me. It's been weird not having my time booked with stuff- usually for other people- but still stuff. I am in a weird funk trying to figure out what I want to do and how I am supposed to do it. And that is why when I sat down to write I had nothing to write, yet tons to write. So for now this will do. We're here. We're alive and healthy. We're doing stuff and for my own benefit I need to be better about writing it down.

Solutions?

My sweet little man has had a rough couple of months. And just when we thought he was pulling out of it, it seems he's right back in it. Wednesday's therapy session then was horrible and I cried. A lot. Brooks asked afterward if it looked bad that he didn't cry. I know he's upset; I am sure everyone else can see it too. He just isn't a crier, and that's OK. We were talking about explaining abstract concepts to Taylor and somehow that lead to us having to acknowledge that although we were trying really hard, we just weren't getting the results we wanted.

And that's the thing.

This is so, so, so much work. Much more work than I hope other parents ever have to do. But in the end, no matter how much work we seem to be putting in to this we get no where. We have an angry child who doesn't like the word "imagination", we have a sweet little boy who stares at us blankly when we try to explain something, we have to look at each other and even though we don't verbalize it, we know we've failed. And it hurts so bad. It is the worst feeling ever to know you can't help your child.

On Wednesday, three kids in class were teasing Taylor, part of which included telling him "Your mom is in your backpack!" Taylor was so upset because he thought this meant I could shrink and he did not want me to shrink. Never mind what it really meant, the literal is what we always have to address. On Thursday he was elbowed in the eye on accident by another kid in his resource class, when we were asking him about it, he kept insisting that it hurt because he wiped his eye, again missing the part that he had to wipe the tears from his eye because he was elbowed first.

I am so tired of hearing that it won't always be like this. No one can say that for sure and that brings absolutely no comfort to me now.

Today though, I learned of an Autism walk next month that we will for sure participate in. And then I saw this video that made me cry because I couldn't help but think of Brooks. I know he hurts and I can't even imagine what it must feel like for him. But I know that he will always fight for and take care of Taylor.

Lazy Morning

I am loving this moment! Little Man climbed in bed with his daddy and they began talking about dogs and re-telling silly stories...doggies and their love for peanut better, Brooks chuckling as he remembered our first doggy eating food off of the counter.... It was sweet, and my heart filled with love just to watch the two of them talking.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day seems to be a perfect example of the ideal plan,  indecision and then change that is the theme of our family these days.

Originally, when Brooks and I first decided to move back to Tucson we knew we wanted to go to McMahon's for our Valentines dinner. This was exciting for a number of reasons. McMahon's is a fancy steak restaurant. I love steak and we both appreciate food, perhaps maybe too much. But, McMahon's is also where we had our very first Valentine's dinner, ten years ago.

Back in those days, things were a little different mainly because we didn't have two little kids to consider when making our plans. I remember Brooks picked me up at my parents house, late of course. Now I know it's because he is always late (or is that me?). Then I thought it was because he lad a trick up his sleeve, like a surprise limo to take us for dinner. Alas, there was no limo but he did buy me the Hallmark Kiss-Kiss bears (remember those?) and a pretty aquamarine necklace. After that we went back to his apartment for a bit, then left for the restaurant. We enjoyed a yummy dinner, followed with chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. It was a perfect Valentine's Day especially since we'd only been dating a month! I was completely swept off my feet.

We always go out for Valentine's Day now, even with the kids. The only thing is our venue of choice and gifts are a little different. Really, I can't remember the last time we got each other a gift other than a small box of chocolate as we attempt to eat the kids chocolate be calorie conscious. And restaurants have always been kids choice. So this year I was so excited to have a real date involving a fancy, kid- less dinner.

Brooks has been watching the online reservation system for McMahon's for months. When Valentine's Day finally opened up, he swooped in and got us the perfect dinner time. We figured my dad would babysit and everything seemed good. But then horror upon horror- McMahon's released their menu for the night which was lobster, shrimp and steak- and I don't eat seafood!  Brooks thought it was no big deal and we could still go, but for a $150 dinner I wanted to actually be able to eat my dinner. So the practical side of me won over my heart and we decided to go somewhere else. We settled on another steak restaurant, but really after McMahon's didn't work out, I didn't care so much where we went. I talked to my dad about babysitting, which also meant getting Taylor to karate and that didn't seem to be working out either. Then he broke his wrist, so I knew that for sure it wouldn't work out as he couldn't drive his car and my step-mom wouldn't be home from work in time to take him to karate.

So, in the way of the Wintemutes, our big plan is no more and we changed or mind about a few times and finally "settled". Brooks is going to get off of work at 4:00 and we are going to have an early dinner at  Red Robin (the kids ecstatic choice) which is pretty much across the street from his work, at the romantic Tucson Mall. Then we are going to go straight to karate (the 30+ minute drive should give Taylor's tummy enough time to settle).

It will still be fun and it will work. It just won't be steak, strawberries and champagne.

Waaaay behind. Yet again.

So here I find myself, yet again, behind on blogging. It looks like the last post was in November, for something that happened in October. So  FOR REAL,  this time will be the last time I fall behind.

I like writing, I really do. I like blogging and I like reading everyone else's blogs. The problem is I sort of developed this inability to multi-task like I did in my much younger days. Whenever I have a lot on my mind I now just sort of freeze and can't seem to do any one thing as well as I could before. Generally, I talk a lot (yeah I know), but when I am thinking I am quiet.

So here goes with the re-cap...

November was Thanksgiving, which we spent at my Dad's house and had a huge potluck style meal. Brooks and I love to eat, so this was just perfect. Taylor had a cute performance with this class where they sang songs and did a short Thanksgiving play. Taylor also had a sleep-over at Grammy's house, and the kids happened upon a worm in the dirt by where our parking spot is at our complex. We picked him up and moved him to some bushes and they visited him multiple times a day. I should have blogged about it at the time, because it was super cute. It was also super rainy-so I fear the worst for "Wormy" but the kids decided he simply became a caterpillar and that's why we never found him again.

We also finally won our case against Adam, prolonged because he would never respond. But it didn't matter because the loser still didn't pay. But, he moved and we had a lead on where so it was just a short matter of time before we'd find him.

December was a crazy, busy month. Taylor's amazing teacher announced she'd be taking an early retirement, which kicked my CEO duties into high gear. We organized a goodbye Italian-themed potluck for her which nearly the whole class came to, on top of speeding everything else up we'd had planned for before the winter break. Of course inside I was panicking just because Taylor had done so well with her and I was so afraid he'd regress with a new teacher.

We also found Adam thanks to the tip of someone we never actually met, but he'd managed to piss off in just the few months he knew her so she was happy to let us know where he was. Thanks to that person, we learned his address on a Thursday afternoon, filed the Debtor's Summons paperwork with the court on Friday at lunchtime, then hired the process server that same day and he was served on Saturday morning. We really wanted a court date before Christmas as it only seemed right to add a little extra holiday stress for him as we were feeling the financial crunch of having to pull off a Christmas like our kids deserved with less money in our account. We ended up with a court date the first week of January. But whatever. At least we had a date and if he did not show, a warrant would be issued for his arrest.

Taylor's birthday was December 9th, but between everything going on at school and at home, we asked if he would be OK with putting off his actual birthday party until after the holiday break and he was totally fine with it. We did have Taylor's Day of Fun which included me bringing (his choice) Taco Bell beans for lunch at school, a birthday celebration in class with Space Cuties, dinner at his choice of Pizza Hut, cupcake with his Cub Scout Den, and finally a star cake at home. Plus presents from us and Grammy and Papa.

Jazzy had an adorable performance at school. This kid is seriously the cutest, and I hope she always knows how much we love her even though we are both fully aware she doesn't get her fair share of the time/attention/money from Mom and Dad.



Christmas was up in Phoenix with Grammy and Papa, who had returned from Spain, but were oh-so-tired and never quite seemed to get over their jet-lag. Which was actually OK as we were all nursing colds, so we weren't able to make our planned visits with friends and didn't do much for fear of spreading our germs. We did however venture to a Who-Ville themed gingerbread house display at one of the resorts. And it was just nice to get away for a few days. Tucson had become a major stressor for Brooks, yet  I remained optimistic we could work through it.

And finally, Santa sent us an elf to watch over the kids. Cuddly was a constant source of entertainment as he seemed to get into just about everything. The kids miss him and are hoping he'll come back for another visit before next Christmas.

January was another whirlwind month. Grammy and Papa visited us from Spain for a day and Marlene made my favorite, chicken parmesan. The kids loved having them over and it felt nice that this time they had a couch to sit on and a TV to watch. The last time they were over we had just moved in.

We held Taylor's Wall-E themed birthday party at Chuck E Cheese and it went off amazingly well. I went crazy before hand preparing and planning, as you can't find much of Wall-E anything anymore. Our friend Rachael decorated his cake, he was so happy and he made out like a bandit on gifts. Happy kid = happy parents.

Brooks' birthday was also in January, but it was decidedly more low key. The kids and I bought him a new dress shirt at the mall, which was supposed to be a secret but they were all too happy to share. I had to order this digital razor he wanted, after running all over town trying to find it (of course, at the last minute) so that didn't come in until a few days after his birthday, but we did go to dinner at Chili's. It's really too bad Chili's does not have a punch card or some type of points program, as it is our go-to restaurant.

Taylor started having a tough time in January. Every morning is a barrage of excuses why he can't get up and go to school. He also started acting out in class, being super wiggly and argumentative at home. He's been getting really upset about death as well, too. We tried what we could, asked for help and then began waiting for a psychologist referral from his pediatrician. Waiting sucks.

My sister and her family came down for Taylor's birthday, so we had a January birthday party for them at my Dad's the night before Taylor's party and then we celebrated again at the end of the month at Texas Roadhouse for my Dad and Bella's birthday. Whew! Apparently whatever month is 40 weeks before January is a popular time for my family to feel the love.

We had our court date with Adam, he actually showed up with shocked us. I was a tad disappointed because I really wanted him to do something stupid, not show and then get arrested. But turns out we'd get the best of both worlds as he showed up to our appearance, got reamed by the judge then the judge created a court ordered payment plan for him. Which should mean we 'd have a payment now, and we don't still. Shocker-right?  But- he did manage to get himself arrested in December and had to post bond. Thanks to all of this being public information, we learned he was cited for speeding and driving on a suspended license with an open container of alcohol in the car. Which would make his third DUI in Arizona. I am hoping he'll make some new "friends" in jail. Oh- and I'd still like my money back.

The Pinewood Derby was held in January, conveniently right after Taylor's Chuck E. Cheese party. The cars were a nightmare to design and carve, including a complete re-build two days before the race for Taylor's car. In the end, they both came in last, but just like the Space Derby they didn't seem to care as their cars looked cool. The coolest, if I do say so myself.

We went back to Phoenix for a quick visit with friends we missed seeing while we were sick over Christmas. It was nice and oh my gosh do I miss them. And we both miss Phoenix. Every day I find myself weighing the pros and cons of this move. The biggest con is Brooks' job. The money is nice, but the stress is approaching overwhelming.

 Jazzy started ballet. Her class is Friday mornings. It's so nice and quiet and easy getting her ready and out the door to class. Taylor is at school so it is just Jazzy and Mommy time. Superbly sweet and perfect Jazzy and Mommy time.

Finally, we booked a much needed vacation to Puerto Rico! Brooks and I have had Puerto Rico on our brains for a while now. We finally just decided that we miss vacations that involve airplanes. Money is tight, it may always be, but we need to do things that make us happy. The kids are interested, I don't know if they get that this is a pretty amazing place and not your average spring break vacay. Someday though, we will have albums of trips just like Brooks' mom keeps. And my kids will have the wisdom, insight and appreciation that travel brings.

And with that, Bring on 2012!

Halloween in Pictures

GQ Taylor at Buckelew Farms

Taylor and his green pumpkin

Literature Parade at school

 Jazzy as Cinderella

Cub Scouts Fall Festival

Science Spooktacular at the Planetarium

All dressed up!

We stopped at Tata's house first

....and then went trick-or-treating with the Hambacher's

Our Little World

So much to say and not enough time for blogging! Brooks and I are on mental overload, so when I have free time I just feeling like doing a whole lotta nothing. But we have had some pretty incredible things happen in the last few weeks and I don't want to be so overwhelmed that we don't stop and  appreciate these moments.

Halloween was lots of fun; I will post pics from that later on. Leading up to Halloween though, Taylor had two fun filled days at school. On the Thursday before, his class went on a field trip to Buckelew Farms Pumpking Patch. You bet Stalker Mom (me) was there as well. The bus ride was long, but the kids were all so excited to be there that everything went pretty smoothly. As we began to head back to the buses to head back to school,  Taylor fell and scratched his elbow. The owie itself was not bad at all, but controlling emotions is a really hard thing for him and he melted down pretty bad. I put a couple of band aids on his elbow (even though he really didn't need one) and we talked like we usually do about how sometimes when things hurt, they'll only hurt for a little bit and then it feels OK. Then we began to count to calm down and this time instead of counting to 20 and back down and then counting again, we only had to make it to 10 before he decided he was calm and could re-join his class. Phew!

The next day, the kids wore their costumes and took part in a literature parade around the school hallways. Afterwards, they changed and then rotated between the three first grade classrooms doing activities in each. In one class Taylor made a bookmark and when I caught up with him in the hallway he was pretty upset that one of the girls in class was holding all the bookmarks as he really wanted his. He went into class and I saw him again just before lunch. He was still crying and was pretty upset. It took most of lunch to calm him down and then I stayed and watched him play in the playground just to make sure he didn't get wound up again.

Both times his classmates were asking what was wrong, I knew the other parents were watching and it's moments like those that I just hate. Not that people are watching, but I just hate thinking that my child is different. But he is and there is nothing I can do to make it "OK" or make him "normal." I do get annoyed by Autism parents who seemingly gush about how beautiful this whole experience is and what a blessing it is or yada yada.

It's not. Autism sucks. And some days it is really, really hard.

It's also hard to relate to other parents who mean well but will never, ever really truly understand what it is like to feel the pain of knowing something is wrong with your child that you will never be able to fix.

Sure, he'll get better with all of his therapies and eventually he might seem like other kids. But that's because he'll have to work really really hard at it. Maybe it's like losing an arm or a leg. You might go a while without one and then eventually get a prosthetic and then adjust to the prosthetic and be able to do some of the things you were able to do before. But every time you reach for something and miss, or every time you have to attach it or take it off to go to bed or to take a shower you will be reminded of the extra work you have to do that others may not have to. That is Autism for the high functioning child. And as good as he will get at things,  he will always have to work  at it.

So as wonderful as my child is in every way, I hurt for him when something happens that showcases his weaknesses.

This past weekend we went to the house and Brooks and I were working in one room when we overheard Taylor in another room playing Barbies with Jazzy and talking in a girls voice as one of the Barbie dolls. Sure this is pretty funny, but it is also a really big deal. We both stopped and listened and determined this was the first time EVER Taylor had ever used his imagination to create a voice. Sure he's modeled voices before for example when he's playing Transformers and he's holding Optimus Prime; and the kid loves to do impressions like Mr. Krabs and Yogi Bear. But he's never come up with his own voice before and he certainly is not a fan of spontaneous play that's not modeled after something he's already seen. For Taylor to come up with a voice then was a pretty big thing. We stopped whatever we were doing and started thinking of all the things he can do now that he had problems with before. Brooks thinks he is doing better with tags, he doesn't care anymore if his food touches anything else on his plate and the kid loves mixing all kinds of things together- like syrup and bacon or noddles, refried beans and corn (yum, right?). His eye contact is pretty good now (except taking picture of course), His coloring and handwriting have really improved. He hasn't wanted to wear the same outfit everyday since he was probably 3; the list of what he perseverates on is so much shorter. So now Little Man has discovered his imagination and unlocking that part of his mind is just A-MA-ZING for us.

If I could go back in time and make it so he didn't have Autism, you bet I would. But I would never, ever want any other baby than this one. He is the blessing, not Autism.

Dress Up/ Pics to Show The Girlfriend

Apparently I have gotten too good at tuning the kids out when they are loud.

As soon as we got back home from school, the kids decided to play dress-up and I sat in front of the computer to veg out from my day of driving. Dress-up started innocently enough...

And then I looked up to see this...

...and then this...

Once they were both dressed up, Jazzy asked Taylor to dance with her. Which I guess was just totally out of the question. Dress in drag? Yes! Dance with your little sister? Heck no!

I'll be sure to save this pic for his first girlfriend.

Month O' Birthdays

October is apparently THE month for birthdays. We took Bella and Sophia to Phoenix with us the first weekend of the month for Mikey and Joshy's joint birthday party. Mikey's b-day is actually in September, but the Back Pack decides to double the fun and they have another joint bday party in January for the rest of the clan. Since it has been pretty hot, they had lots of fun water games and then the kids enjoyed superhero cookies and cupcakes. Joshy actually shares a birthday with our step-mom Ramona.

The following weekend we went to Jazzy's little friends joint b-day party at Pump It Up. Matt is in her preschool class and Reese is his equally fun cousin who is in the 4 year old preschool class. The kids love Pump It Up and had a blast! Taylor pretty much takes off and does his own thing, Jazzy has to have someone with her at all times, so Brooks and I were a little sore from climbing up the equipment. I made Brooks take her down the big slide, which is fun, but I am a weenie and without fail every time I get to the top of the slide I have this moment of panic trying to decide if I really have to do this. Brooks and I also decided to race each other through the obstacle course. In all fairness he totally would have beaten me if it weren't for the three kids blocking him from the final slide. We'll be having Taylor's party at Pump It Up (I think anyway, if we can get the guest list down a bit), so I took the opportunity to check out the party room and get an idea of how we could decorate. For all the planning I have done for other events, I always seem to drop the ball when it comes to the kids b-days. Not this year! Brooks still asks now why every party has to be like a Sweet Sixteen. Oh, that poor man hasn't seen anything yet! I have started my spreadsheet for Tayor's birthday as and soon as we figure out whether we can do one big party or will do two smaller ones, we'll be good to go!

This weekend we have my little brother Gabe's birthday. But, in true Mexican style, it hasn't really been planned yet. I am hoping they decide to barbecue because I am in the mood for some carne asada. We've actually only been to dinner there once since we've been back. I've asked Brooks a couple of times if we could call and see if we could go over for dinner; in true white man fashion he thinks we'd be imposing though. So the only rice and beans we have had (since I am not allowed to make beans) have been at Taco Tote and On The Border.

Finally, it is Sam and Katie's birthday on October 27th. I can't believe those kids are going to be 13! We went to Grammy's ranch last Friday for a visit since the kids had the day off for a grading day, but since Sam and Katie are in a different district they were still in school. I did however catch a glimpse of their birthday wish lists, which both included ipads. Thank goodness my kids are cool with Transformers and Barbies now. I'd like to prolong them being expensive teenagers for as long as possible.

Soleng Tom

The move back to Tucson really hasn't been bad at all, and one of the reasons why is the amazing school the kids are going to. Good Lord was finding Taylor a school a nightmare, but after the first week I knew we'd made the right decision. His teacher is great- she is just the right mix of experience, compassion and being on the ball. He seems to have a pretty good mix of kids in his class- there are some sweet girls who are very kind to him, lots of silly boys for him to be goofy with and not too many troublemakers where I have to worry about him being picked on or left out.

I've been volunteering on Tuesdays in Taylor's class. This past Tuesday I made a "quick stop" at Target just before my shift and managed to lock the keys in the car. AAA took 2 hours to get there, which meant I missed my whole volunteer shift. I had called the office and since he had a sub that day, it didn't seem like it would be a big deal, but I stopped by his class anyway to check on Taylor since this was a big deviation to his routine. He was fine but wanted me to stay for lunch. The other kids were beyond adorable! I received quite a few hugs, they seemed worried about me and one kid asked if I had gotten locked in the trunk. I don't know if the sub was that happy to see me, but the kids seemed relieved I was OK.

It's weird being called "Mrs. Wintemute" though, and I am not sure if I will ever get used to that. I think when I am a teacher I will have the kids call me Mrs. W if they like. There is a boy who is also in Cub Scouts with Taylor and he thinks it is pretty cool that he knows my name is Laura and always calls me that, which is totally fine with me. I don't mind my last name, it is just weird being so formal.

Aside from volunteering, I am also co-CEO for the class which means I help to organize the classroom events. It's neat being so involved and give me lots of extra opportunities to spy on my Little Man. At this point, he thinks it pretty neat and I hope he always does.

He's been talking a lot about going to college, and I can tell he is worried about it. He had a sub last year when he was in Kindergarten who made some comment that he would move out when he went to college. He cries when he talks about it now, so I tell him he can always live at home and when he goes to college it can be just like it is now when he goes to school. I will happily drop him off, have lunch with him and park and stalk him as he walks to classes.  I reassured him that even when he works for NASA I will still have lunch with him.

I am sure someday he'll decide he wants to do things with his friends and without his mom. Until then though, I am loving this time we can spend together.

From the Mouth of Babes

Today Taylor was on a roll. Here's some of what he said:

"Mom, I know you're smart because you married Dad...so tell me- how to bones move?"

"I was thinking about it, and I don't think I want to have my own family when I am big. I think you guys might need a third parent."



My sister refers to these as "Taylor-ism" and tells me I should write them down. Some days he is downright hilarious, so I really should get better about remembering them. The other day Jazzy was on a roll as well:

"Mom, why do you write letters on my water bottle?"
"That's your name, Jazzy. That way everyone at school knows  it is your bottle and no one takes it."
"Mama- what happens if Target didn't have letters on it?"

Sleeping Angels

No matter how crazy or chaotic the day has been, my babies turn into beautiful little angels when they sleep. After they are tucked in and fall asleep, Brooks and I usually stay up to watch a movie or one of our TV shows. Then, when it is our bedtime, we go back in the room to fix their covers, adjust their stuffed animals, and I always whisper in their ears "mama loves you."

Because I do.

So how do we really feel?

Recently, we took on this project of helping a friend update and sell a house. That is totally fine and there are no issues with the house or that we are doing this. The problem is that in the course of this, we hired another friend, Adam Cortese of NDC Home Services to do the work on the house and he has screwed us over. Big time.

There really isn't much to it: we gave him a deposit, he said the whole thing would take 2-3 weeks and that he'd begin prepping for paint the weekend that we gave him the deposit. This was on a Thursday. Brooks noticed that he cashed the deposit about a minute after getting it. No biggie, I thought. We were going to stop by the house on Monday and he was going to meet us there to see his work, but then on Monday he texted to say he had not been to the house and would not be going to the house to paint for a whole other week. Which meant that painting on a 2-3 week job would not begin for 12 whole days after the job was supposed to start. So we thought about it just a bit and decided we would paint to get back on schedule during that week that he said he couldn't paint. His response, again via text, was that he had some issues and concerns and this was not how he normally did business. He admitted he had not done any work or bought any materials though. We met again a few days later and he said he was now going to raise the prices on the remaining work. Since he had not done any work or bought any materials this really shouldn't have been an issue. When he came back with his new prices, we had already gotten second opinions on the other work he was supposed to do and thought his prices were higher than the job warranted. He didn't even give us the chance to fire him, but on his own said he'd give us the deposit back. He gave us some BS story about how he had pre-paid the money on his Home Depot account and said we'd have to give him time to earn the money back. In the meantime he had a birthday party for his son, so my guess is we paid for the party and presents. It was also the first of the month so we could have paid for his rent, or maybe a car payment. But regardless the money we gave him for the house was gone and had not been used on the house. He was supposed to meet us last week with the money, but once again, texted to say he couldn't come and told us we could "take the next step."

So we did.

We filed with the small claims court on Friday evening. On Monday I mailed his paperwork per the court's instructions. But, he could either not sign for it, not be home, not bother to pick it up if he is not home or not bother to respond. Which means the next step is to hire a constable to serve him. And then he has 20 days to respond and then we have to get a date scheduled. So this could take a while.

We are both angry/upset/hurt on a few different levels.

1) This was a friend. Why would you do that to a friend? He should have honored the schedule he gave us, should have understood that we were stepping in to make sure the work got done in time for our friend and should have made some good faith effort to return the money to us. Also, even though we weren't terribly close with Adam, his fiance Brandi and I are friends, and she made no effort to apologize on his behalf, or even try to communicate with me or make any good faith effort on her part. My husband would never do this to one of my friends. Ever. But, hypothetically speaking if he did you bet I'd make every attempt to do something for my friend. I'd be mortified. Why doesn't she care?

2) We found out Adam has been to small claims before. And, he even has a misdemeanor for contracting without a license. In both cases, he failed to appear and in the misdemeanor case had a warrant out and is still paying restitution. This makes me think he'll totally disregard our case just as he has the other two. I also feel stupid that we did not look into his business history before hand, friend or not.

3) We have to be good friends to Nas, who put us in charge of the house. Even though it was his money that we put down for the deposit,  since we are good friends and will do the right thing, now it is our money that will replace it. Also, now we had to explain why we are doing the work on our own. Thank goodness he took it all well.

4) I am also mad at myself that I would vouch for this guy or allow people like Adam or Brandi into our lives. I had a really great conversation the other day with a real friend, who reminded me about the positives to being 30. At this point in our lives we have earned where we are and what we have. She also said that we've weeded out people in our lives who aren't worth being a part of our lives. So now I have weeded out Adam and Brandi. I am embarrassed I made the mistake of considering them friends, but also even more embarrassed for them by the way they have conducted themselves.

Brooks is awesome and amazing and I am so happy he is my husband. He is a pretty calm guy but is pretty fired up about this based on principal. $1000 is a lot of money, but not end-of-the-world money. It won't break us or make us fight or make our lives worse without it. It will take some time but we will get it back. Adam stands to lose a lot more - the money plus court costs, loss of business and maybe even a little dignity. If he has any.

Tiger Cub Taylor

I think I see now why people blog semi-anonymously. The can give their kids cute names like one of my favorite blogger does- Pork Lo Maniac and Little Dude and most important write about others without them knowing and possibly being offended or hurt. But, alas, I have not gone that route.

Sigh. So here goes.

I should at first start by saying that Cub Scouts is a great organization, and something my Little Man is super excited to be involved in. Brooks was in Cub Scouts when he lived in Korea, so I think he was excited to have Taylor follow in his footsteps.

Taylor's pack is a decent size and the leaders are all very kind, however, there are some serious geeks. We refer to the Pack leader as the Head Nerd. There is another nerd in charge, whom we refer to as Ghostrider, which is his email name. In Taylor's Tiger Den, there are only maybe 7 kids- 3 of whom are in his class. The den leader is nice enough and seems to definitely bring some organization that the Head Nerds surprisingly lack. Brooks nicely worded this past weekend's events as "campy, " I do feel bad saying nerdy or talking about them that way. Because really, they are super nice.

This past weekend was the Space Derby. I only remembered the Pinewood Derby from my little brother's Cub Scouts days, so this was a new but very fun experience. Brooks and Taylor worked together on building the rocket, Taylor came up with the design and I painted it. I wanted to make sure it at least looked really cool just in case it didn't fly. We got there a little bit early as we discovered that morning that we'd manage to lose the nose cap piece that holds the propeller. Thankfully the Head Nerd took our panicked call and said he'd have a bag full of extra parts at the event. He even helped Brooks assemble everything there. Taylor waited not so patiently for the Tigers turn and then guess what?

It flew! And- it was first!

I think he even came in first for the 2nd round, but then on the third round it did not move at all. They let him re-fly in the finals, but he was beat out by the den leader's kid. I think Brooks and I were more concerned about his placement than Taylor was. He just thought it was cool that everyone seemed to think his rocket looked cool. In the end, he won a certificate for Best Tiger Spirit and was just really excited to be running around with his friends. Nerdy parents or not.

Staycation!

Labor Day weekend we spent three lovely days at the Fort McDowell Resort in Fountain Hills. It was close to blissful, if you take away the crowd and drunks from the Labor Day par-tay we didn't bother to research before booking. But, no biggie. The room was clean and comfy*, food was good, pool was perfect and kids were happy which is really all we ask for.

We left on Saturday after going to Baby Zeke's 2nd birthday party at the splash pad. Kids were dressed in their swim suits and ready to start the weekend with a little water teaser. A Mexican birthday party is really made up of: a lot of people, a lot of family, lots of food, a pinata, a late start and a late depart. It was fun and Araceli and the kids came down which made it even more perfect!

After the festivities, we headed down the road about 2 hours to Fountain Hills, which is so pretty with beautiful mountains and beautiful homes. Fort Mc Dowell was on the rez, which means there was a casino next door. Initially, I had big plans that involved putting the kids to bed and trusting them in the care of my little sister Bella so we could sneak to the casino with a few bucks. But, the older Brooks gets, the harder he is with parting with his money so this big idea never came to fruition. But we still had fun!

The hotel was sooo pretty! The only downfall of Radisson hotels are the Sleep Number Beds. Brooks really is not a fan; I can usually do fine with the bed set on 35, Taylor prefers his on 0. We hit the pool everyday, including the first night. They had bands playing poolside for the weekend, and I think a radio station was there with a margarita sponsor and a DJ hosting a shortened version of the dating game on the stage. The funny thing was, there weren't really younger people there, more like people our age re-living their youth. We did see one lady try to sneak a huge bottle of vodka out to the pool, then get busted by hotel security. But other than that we had a blast swimming, playing basketball in the pool and Brooks and Bella played volleyball in the pool as well.

The kids did well and love spending time with Bella; she is such a good kid and we really love having her around. This was actually her first time at a hotel, so we wanted to make sure she enjoyed it. We ate a few times at the casino, ordered room service, and went to the three story Fashion Square mall in Scottsdale.

And then the weekend was over and we had to leave. Which totally sucked. My babies love hotels and so do I. The weekend made me think about the many hotels we have stayed at and adventures had at each one. I think once things slow down with the house I will try to blog more about that...

Yes We Can!

We are now thick in the midst of flipping a house. I really don't like that term, I guess it just seems sort of shallow and profit driven and in reality we aren't doing it for money at all. But we are updating a house for Brooks' friend and it is 1) a ton of work; and 2) exciting and entertaining; and 3) totally teaching us something about ourselves.

When Nas first asked Brooks if he'd handle this, I mentioned we could try to do some of it ourselves. Brooks immediately became concerned we couldn't do it as well as a professional and we decided to hire someone to handle the re-model. We went with a friend, which was a big mistake and a huge learning experience. It wasn't a close friend, but close enough we didn't think we'd be taken advantage of. However the past 3 weeks have been way more stress than they were worth trying to rely on someone else. In the meantime since no work was getting done on his end, we decided we needed to get some work started in order to meet the time frame Nas was originally promised, and we have totally realized that we can do anything! I've wrestled with vertical blinds, picked out some sick fixtures and the perfect paint color. Brooks has become a pro with the drill and today we removed one of those big, heavy mirrors from the bathroom  without hurting ourselves, breaking the mirror, or damaging the wall.

The house is in pretty good shape, we really don't have too much left to do and since we've fired the contractor the only stressor left is trying to get our deposit back. But we've laughed a lot and really have had a good time doing this. It has totally taught us we are handy and it makes me smile to see my husband who is good at so many things already, realize he is better at so many more. We've given the kids brushes and let them paint away (and then gone back and re-painted) and now that's it's just us we are relying on, everything has gone surprisingly well.

Just before working on the house, I had started saying  that when we work together, we work well. This experience has totally proven that.

HGTV and the Dubs

Here is a long overdue pic of the new couch. It is off-white leather and fabulous. To all  you Nay-Sayer's who think white and kids don't mix- leather and kids mix quite well, actually. In fact, Mr. Couch has already become pretty familiar with chocolate pudding on a few occasions and still looks showroom new. He is comfy, big enough for our both to stretch our feet out on and watch movies together after the kids go to bed. Totally perfect and I am happy.

Well, sort of happy.

Seeing this nice, new couch in our living room makes our chaise look shabbier then he was already looking. So, I am going to begin a new project hopefully soon and attempt to create a new dark gray slipcover for the chaise. I found the fabric, but since I have no idea what I am doing (although the old slip cover will make for a great pattern), I need to recruit some help with this. Specifically someone with  a sewing machine as I don't want to hand stitch the whole thing and my beloved stitch -witchery will only go so far.

Big project #2 is updating and decorating a house for Brooks' friends who live in Miami. They don't want to fly back to handle selling this house which used to be a rental so we are acting as the middle men to get it done. Today Jazz and I walked around Lowe's and found some pretty cool counter top solutions. This is fun and I feel a little like all the HGTV watching we have done is paying off. I am enjoying finding nice things at a bargain and can't wait to see it all come together. We are re-painting, updating the electrical as well as light fixtures and hardware and faucets, ceiling fans and new counter tops and mirrors. I am truly loving this and wishing we had the extra money and the market was better to where we could either have some rentals or flip some houses.

One of those days...

Today is just one of those days. I am feeling overly emotional and guilt-ridden.

The morning started fairly uneventfully. The kids were dressed, ate breakfast and brushed their teeth without much nagging on my part. As long as we leave the house by 7:25 I get to school in time to walk Taylor into the playground and watch him play for about 10 or 15 minutes before the bell rings. Today though, he had a hard time finding anyone to play with and just kind of wandered about until maybe 5 minutes before the bell rang when his friend Brennen showed up. But Brennen was running so fast Taylor had a hard time keeping up and went back to wandering. It was the first time that he actually looked a little sad, I guess I've always thought Autism kept him blissfully unaware of these awkward social moments.  So seeing my Little Man like this, I began to think of what I could do to make this better...this playground is so big and there are more kids then he has ever gone to school with. Would he be better at a smaller school? But then what about college? College will be big, will he have adapted by then? And then of course my big fear wondering if he will even be able to go to college. And then I started thinking about me working- if I were working, I would miss all of these moments. Is that really worth it? Can I convince Brooks I should stay home just a little longer?

I think that what might really be happening is that we are just coming back from our weekend visit with Brooks' parents who are now on a plane headed back to Madrid for the school year. The kids really enjoy spending time with their grandparents and this was the first time Jazzy was realizing they were going very far away for a long time and I could see her getting sad and concerned about that. I know I felt bad this weekend watching them play with their grandparents and thinking about their relationship with their other grandma. My mom last visited with the kids in January- 8 months ago. She did see them briefly during the drop off and pick up when my little sister spent the night. Taylor remembers Grammy and enjoys her company although it seems to take way more phone calls, texts and effort on my part to make that happen anymore. The last time we saw her when Katie was being dropped off, I had to actually tell Jazzy later that the woman visiting was her other grandma.

So there I was this morning thinking about all the things in Taylor's life that I could not control and feeling sad for him. I wish I could make other kids want to play with him, I wish I could help him run faster or have an easier time doing the monkey bars so he could be involved more in what the other kids were doing. I wish I could only fill his life with people who loved him and always wanted to be around him. I wish we could win the lottery so both Brooks and I could be home with him and help him learn these things.

I hope when I pick him up from school he has a big smile on his face, because I know I will when I see my sweet Little Man again.

Tucson Catch Up

We have now been in Tucson officially for 32 days. It has been one full month, so here is my attempt at a brief re-cap.

School:
Paragon Science Academy was great, but their sister school in Tucson is horrible. Because they aren't good enough for my son we looked at a number of different schools and put him on the waiting list at one super cute school called Tucson Country Day School. As the first day of school approached, he never got called so we resigned ourselves to him attending our neighborhood school. Then my friend suggested I beg talk to the principal at Soleng Tom, which is where Jazzy would be going to preschool. On the Tuesday before school started I said about 10 Hail Mary's and gave it my best shot. He was super kind, told me he thought they did have room and we filled out the enrollment paperwork. The very next day I got a confirmation phone call and Taylor now had a school! His teacher is Mrs. Lowe, she is damn near as saintly as the principal and I am in love with the school. It is on the east side in the beautiful part of the desert and the drive and smell of the desert makes me happy. Yeah, I said it. I may even be falling in love with this silly town.

Sassy Jazzy:
Little Miss decided she liked Pre-School once she met the teacher and discovered the classroom had some pretty neat toys. Rachael's son Matt is in her class and it is beyond adorable watching those two play with one another. She loves school and only goes Tuesday/Thursday but wants to go every day. I love that they go to the same school, being a taxi is making my days a little hectic but someday soon hopefully we can buy in the neighborhood closer to the school.

The Car:
My car is pretty but has a lot of miles on it and is starting to be pretty needy. With me not working, we really aren't in the position for two car payments so we are just fixing it on what seems like a regular basis. The newest repair was a new fuel pump and cam sensors ($700). Now the A/C which was just recharged is blowing hot out of the two drivers vents off and on and the anti-theft light keeps blinking. Le sigh. But, my super handy-when-he-feels-like-it husband replaced the air filter and fixed the trunk brake light this weekend. Whoo-hoo for figuring out how to do somethings ourselves :)

A Job:
I have applied for a number of different jobs, but only had two call back for interviews. One was for an event coordinator which would be a dream job for me but when they called back for the second interview I had to decline. Now that we know where Taylor is going to school, the commute is just way too far to work out how we'd get the kids to school and ourselves to work. I am thinking about trying to find a part-time retail job at someplace where the discount would be handy: a kids clothing store, maybe a home decor store.

Getting settled:
Our dining room still looks like a storage unit, but we did buy a new couch this weekend! It gets delivered tomorrow and then the living room will look a little better. I also found a really pretty lampshade for our room today, too. I can't wait to actually be able to have people over again once we get all the Rubbermaid's and boxes moved out and a new table moved in.