hmmm...

When I was in college, I rushed a sorority. It was fun and something I had known I always wanted to do. I made it pretty far into the process, as in they wanted me and I wanted them and was a pledge. The other pledges looked up to me, I was sort of a mother hen of sorts to all the other girls. I always stepped in when someone forgot their pin, wasn't wearing the right outfit, forgot to study- I always had a plan and a way to make everything work out with a happy ending. We had this point midway through where we had to meet in front of the active members and get interrogated. One by one we went in and faced the group of them looking at us completely emotionless and dissecting our every answer to anything that had happened in the weeks prior. After my turn was done I went back out and the other girls all just turned to me. How was it? What did they ask you? How did you do? One girl then came up to me worried. "Whenever you think, I notice you are really quiet." That was maybe the first time I ever really thought about how I had gotten so close to someone that she had figured me out. She was right on the money- I was thinking and worrying.

Later that night I received a phone call from my Big Sis (an active member) and learned my fate- I was fine. A few of the girls did not make it past that night and that only got me thinking more and I decided that for whatever reason, pledging that sorority was not for me. So I de-pledged. I regret it sometimes, but it is what it is and who knows how things would be different now had I stayed in it? Would I have still met Brooks?

The past few months have been a period of us thinking, worrying, thinking. In this world today where everything you say or do is everywhere, it's been hard to just think and not talk about it. So after thinking and thinking, I think we have a plan. I wish our plans were bigger but sometimes for whatever reason things just aren't meant to be. So it is what it is and that means that our big plans will just wait for another day. And this day I am looking at schools for Taylor in the East Valley that are good (the best, I hope), karate class options, soccer for Little Miss and someday soonish a job for me.

And my little family is happy with this plan.