Lazy Morning

I am loving this moment! Little Man climbed in bed with his daddy and they began talking about dogs and re-telling silly stories...doggies and their love for peanut better, Brooks chuckling as he remembered our first doggy eating food off of the counter.... It was sweet, and my heart filled with love just to watch the two of them talking.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day seems to be a perfect example of the ideal plan,  indecision and then change that is the theme of our family these days.

Originally, when Brooks and I first decided to move back to Tucson we knew we wanted to go to McMahon's for our Valentines dinner. This was exciting for a number of reasons. McMahon's is a fancy steak restaurant. I love steak and we both appreciate food, perhaps maybe too much. But, McMahon's is also where we had our very first Valentine's dinner, ten years ago.

Back in those days, things were a little different mainly because we didn't have two little kids to consider when making our plans. I remember Brooks picked me up at my parents house, late of course. Now I know it's because he is always late (or is that me?). Then I thought it was because he lad a trick up his sleeve, like a surprise limo to take us for dinner. Alas, there was no limo but he did buy me the Hallmark Kiss-Kiss bears (remember those?) and a pretty aquamarine necklace. After that we went back to his apartment for a bit, then left for the restaurant. We enjoyed a yummy dinner, followed with chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. It was a perfect Valentine's Day especially since we'd only been dating a month! I was completely swept off my feet.

We always go out for Valentine's Day now, even with the kids. The only thing is our venue of choice and gifts are a little different. Really, I can't remember the last time we got each other a gift other than a small box of chocolate as we attempt to eat the kids chocolate be calorie conscious. And restaurants have always been kids choice. So this year I was so excited to have a real date involving a fancy, kid- less dinner.

Brooks has been watching the online reservation system for McMahon's for months. When Valentine's Day finally opened up, he swooped in and got us the perfect dinner time. We figured my dad would babysit and everything seemed good. But then horror upon horror- McMahon's released their menu for the night which was lobster, shrimp and steak- and I don't eat seafood!  Brooks thought it was no big deal and we could still go, but for a $150 dinner I wanted to actually be able to eat my dinner. So the practical side of me won over my heart and we decided to go somewhere else. We settled on another steak restaurant, but really after McMahon's didn't work out, I didn't care so much where we went. I talked to my dad about babysitting, which also meant getting Taylor to karate and that didn't seem to be working out either. Then he broke his wrist, so I knew that for sure it wouldn't work out as he couldn't drive his car and my step-mom wouldn't be home from work in time to take him to karate.

So, in the way of the Wintemutes, our big plan is no more and we changed or mind about a few times and finally "settled". Brooks is going to get off of work at 4:00 and we are going to have an early dinner at  Red Robin (the kids ecstatic choice) which is pretty much across the street from his work, at the romantic Tucson Mall. Then we are going to go straight to karate (the 30+ minute drive should give Taylor's tummy enough time to settle).

It will still be fun and it will work. It just won't be steak, strawberries and champagne.

Waaaay behind. Yet again.

So here I find myself, yet again, behind on blogging. It looks like the last post was in November, for something that happened in October. So  FOR REAL,  this time will be the last time I fall behind.

I like writing, I really do. I like blogging and I like reading everyone else's blogs. The problem is I sort of developed this inability to multi-task like I did in my much younger days. Whenever I have a lot on my mind I now just sort of freeze and can't seem to do any one thing as well as I could before. Generally, I talk a lot (yeah I know), but when I am thinking I am quiet.

So here goes with the re-cap...

November was Thanksgiving, which we spent at my Dad's house and had a huge potluck style meal. Brooks and I love to eat, so this was just perfect. Taylor had a cute performance with this class where they sang songs and did a short Thanksgiving play. Taylor also had a sleep-over at Grammy's house, and the kids happened upon a worm in the dirt by where our parking spot is at our complex. We picked him up and moved him to some bushes and they visited him multiple times a day. I should have blogged about it at the time, because it was super cute. It was also super rainy-so I fear the worst for "Wormy" but the kids decided he simply became a caterpillar and that's why we never found him again.

We also finally won our case against Adam, prolonged because he would never respond. But it didn't matter because the loser still didn't pay. But, he moved and we had a lead on where so it was just a short matter of time before we'd find him.

December was a crazy, busy month. Taylor's amazing teacher announced she'd be taking an early retirement, which kicked my CEO duties into high gear. We organized a goodbye Italian-themed potluck for her which nearly the whole class came to, on top of speeding everything else up we'd had planned for before the winter break. Of course inside I was panicking just because Taylor had done so well with her and I was so afraid he'd regress with a new teacher.

We also found Adam thanks to the tip of someone we never actually met, but he'd managed to piss off in just the few months he knew her so she was happy to let us know where he was. Thanks to that person, we learned his address on a Thursday afternoon, filed the Debtor's Summons paperwork with the court on Friday at lunchtime, then hired the process server that same day and he was served on Saturday morning. We really wanted a court date before Christmas as it only seemed right to add a little extra holiday stress for him as we were feeling the financial crunch of having to pull off a Christmas like our kids deserved with less money in our account. We ended up with a court date the first week of January. But whatever. At least we had a date and if he did not show, a warrant would be issued for his arrest.

Taylor's birthday was December 9th, but between everything going on at school and at home, we asked if he would be OK with putting off his actual birthday party until after the holiday break and he was totally fine with it. We did have Taylor's Day of Fun which included me bringing (his choice) Taco Bell beans for lunch at school, a birthday celebration in class with Space Cuties, dinner at his choice of Pizza Hut, cupcake with his Cub Scout Den, and finally a star cake at home. Plus presents from us and Grammy and Papa.

Jazzy had an adorable performance at school. This kid is seriously the cutest, and I hope she always knows how much we love her even though we are both fully aware she doesn't get her fair share of the time/attention/money from Mom and Dad.



Christmas was up in Phoenix with Grammy and Papa, who had returned from Spain, but were oh-so-tired and never quite seemed to get over their jet-lag. Which was actually OK as we were all nursing colds, so we weren't able to make our planned visits with friends and didn't do much for fear of spreading our germs. We did however venture to a Who-Ville themed gingerbread house display at one of the resorts. And it was just nice to get away for a few days. Tucson had become a major stressor for Brooks, yet  I remained optimistic we could work through it.

And finally, Santa sent us an elf to watch over the kids. Cuddly was a constant source of entertainment as he seemed to get into just about everything. The kids miss him and are hoping he'll come back for another visit before next Christmas.

January was another whirlwind month. Grammy and Papa visited us from Spain for a day and Marlene made my favorite, chicken parmesan. The kids loved having them over and it felt nice that this time they had a couch to sit on and a TV to watch. The last time they were over we had just moved in.

We held Taylor's Wall-E themed birthday party at Chuck E Cheese and it went off amazingly well. I went crazy before hand preparing and planning, as you can't find much of Wall-E anything anymore. Our friend Rachael decorated his cake, he was so happy and he made out like a bandit on gifts. Happy kid = happy parents.

Brooks' birthday was also in January, but it was decidedly more low key. The kids and I bought him a new dress shirt at the mall, which was supposed to be a secret but they were all too happy to share. I had to order this digital razor he wanted, after running all over town trying to find it (of course, at the last minute) so that didn't come in until a few days after his birthday, but we did go to dinner at Chili's. It's really too bad Chili's does not have a punch card or some type of points program, as it is our go-to restaurant.

Taylor started having a tough time in January. Every morning is a barrage of excuses why he can't get up and go to school. He also started acting out in class, being super wiggly and argumentative at home. He's been getting really upset about death as well, too. We tried what we could, asked for help and then began waiting for a psychologist referral from his pediatrician. Waiting sucks.

My sister and her family came down for Taylor's birthday, so we had a January birthday party for them at my Dad's the night before Taylor's party and then we celebrated again at the end of the month at Texas Roadhouse for my Dad and Bella's birthday. Whew! Apparently whatever month is 40 weeks before January is a popular time for my family to feel the love.

We had our court date with Adam, he actually showed up with shocked us. I was a tad disappointed because I really wanted him to do something stupid, not show and then get arrested. But turns out we'd get the best of both worlds as he showed up to our appearance, got reamed by the judge then the judge created a court ordered payment plan for him. Which should mean we 'd have a payment now, and we don't still. Shocker-right?  But- he did manage to get himself arrested in December and had to post bond. Thanks to all of this being public information, we learned he was cited for speeding and driving on a suspended license with an open container of alcohol in the car. Which would make his third DUI in Arizona. I am hoping he'll make some new "friends" in jail. Oh- and I'd still like my money back.

The Pinewood Derby was held in January, conveniently right after Taylor's Chuck E. Cheese party. The cars were a nightmare to design and carve, including a complete re-build two days before the race for Taylor's car. In the end, they both came in last, but just like the Space Derby they didn't seem to care as their cars looked cool. The coolest, if I do say so myself.

We went back to Phoenix for a quick visit with friends we missed seeing while we were sick over Christmas. It was nice and oh my gosh do I miss them. And we both miss Phoenix. Every day I find myself weighing the pros and cons of this move. The biggest con is Brooks' job. The money is nice, but the stress is approaching overwhelming.

 Jazzy started ballet. Her class is Friday mornings. It's so nice and quiet and easy getting her ready and out the door to class. Taylor is at school so it is just Jazzy and Mommy time. Superbly sweet and perfect Jazzy and Mommy time.

Finally, we booked a much needed vacation to Puerto Rico! Brooks and I have had Puerto Rico on our brains for a while now. We finally just decided that we miss vacations that involve airplanes. Money is tight, it may always be, but we need to do things that make us happy. The kids are interested, I don't know if they get that this is a pretty amazing place and not your average spring break vacay. Someday though, we will have albums of trips just like Brooks' mom keeps. And my kids will have the wisdom, insight and appreciation that travel brings.

And with that, Bring on 2012!

Halloween in Pictures

GQ Taylor at Buckelew Farms

Taylor and his green pumpkin

Literature Parade at school

 Jazzy as Cinderella

Cub Scouts Fall Festival

Science Spooktacular at the Planetarium

All dressed up!

We stopped at Tata's house first

....and then went trick-or-treating with the Hambacher's

Our Little World

So much to say and not enough time for blogging! Brooks and I are on mental overload, so when I have free time I just feeling like doing a whole lotta nothing. But we have had some pretty incredible things happen in the last few weeks and I don't want to be so overwhelmed that we don't stop and  appreciate these moments.

Halloween was lots of fun; I will post pics from that later on. Leading up to Halloween though, Taylor had two fun filled days at school. On the Thursday before, his class went on a field trip to Buckelew Farms Pumpking Patch. You bet Stalker Mom (me) was there as well. The bus ride was long, but the kids were all so excited to be there that everything went pretty smoothly. As we began to head back to the buses to head back to school,  Taylor fell and scratched his elbow. The owie itself was not bad at all, but controlling emotions is a really hard thing for him and he melted down pretty bad. I put a couple of band aids on his elbow (even though he really didn't need one) and we talked like we usually do about how sometimes when things hurt, they'll only hurt for a little bit and then it feels OK. Then we began to count to calm down and this time instead of counting to 20 and back down and then counting again, we only had to make it to 10 before he decided he was calm and could re-join his class. Phew!

The next day, the kids wore their costumes and took part in a literature parade around the school hallways. Afterwards, they changed and then rotated between the three first grade classrooms doing activities in each. In one class Taylor made a bookmark and when I caught up with him in the hallway he was pretty upset that one of the girls in class was holding all the bookmarks as he really wanted his. He went into class and I saw him again just before lunch. He was still crying and was pretty upset. It took most of lunch to calm him down and then I stayed and watched him play in the playground just to make sure he didn't get wound up again.

Both times his classmates were asking what was wrong, I knew the other parents were watching and it's moments like those that I just hate. Not that people are watching, but I just hate thinking that my child is different. But he is and there is nothing I can do to make it "OK" or make him "normal." I do get annoyed by Autism parents who seemingly gush about how beautiful this whole experience is and what a blessing it is or yada yada.

It's not. Autism sucks. And some days it is really, really hard.

It's also hard to relate to other parents who mean well but will never, ever really truly understand what it is like to feel the pain of knowing something is wrong with your child that you will never be able to fix.

Sure, he'll get better with all of his therapies and eventually he might seem like other kids. But that's because he'll have to work really really hard at it. Maybe it's like losing an arm or a leg. You might go a while without one and then eventually get a prosthetic and then adjust to the prosthetic and be able to do some of the things you were able to do before. But every time you reach for something and miss, or every time you have to attach it or take it off to go to bed or to take a shower you will be reminded of the extra work you have to do that others may not have to. That is Autism for the high functioning child. And as good as he will get at things,  he will always have to work  at it.

So as wonderful as my child is in every way, I hurt for him when something happens that showcases his weaknesses.

This past weekend we went to the house and Brooks and I were working in one room when we overheard Taylor in another room playing Barbies with Jazzy and talking in a girls voice as one of the Barbie dolls. Sure this is pretty funny, but it is also a really big deal. We both stopped and listened and determined this was the first time EVER Taylor had ever used his imagination to create a voice. Sure he's modeled voices before for example when he's playing Transformers and he's holding Optimus Prime; and the kid loves to do impressions like Mr. Krabs and Yogi Bear. But he's never come up with his own voice before and he certainly is not a fan of spontaneous play that's not modeled after something he's already seen. For Taylor to come up with a voice then was a pretty big thing. We stopped whatever we were doing and started thinking of all the things he can do now that he had problems with before. Brooks thinks he is doing better with tags, he doesn't care anymore if his food touches anything else on his plate and the kid loves mixing all kinds of things together- like syrup and bacon or noddles, refried beans and corn (yum, right?). His eye contact is pretty good now (except taking picture of course), His coloring and handwriting have really improved. He hasn't wanted to wear the same outfit everyday since he was probably 3; the list of what he perseverates on is so much shorter. So now Little Man has discovered his imagination and unlocking that part of his mind is just A-MA-ZING for us.

If I could go back in time and make it so he didn't have Autism, you bet I would. But I would never, ever want any other baby than this one. He is the blessing, not Autism.

Dress Up/ Pics to Show The Girlfriend

Apparently I have gotten too good at tuning the kids out when they are loud.

As soon as we got back home from school, the kids decided to play dress-up and I sat in front of the computer to veg out from my day of driving. Dress-up started innocently enough...

And then I looked up to see this...

...and then this...

Once they were both dressed up, Jazzy asked Taylor to dance with her. Which I guess was just totally out of the question. Dress in drag? Yes! Dance with your little sister? Heck no!

I'll be sure to save this pic for his first girlfriend.

Month O' Birthdays

October is apparently THE month for birthdays. We took Bella and Sophia to Phoenix with us the first weekend of the month for Mikey and Joshy's joint birthday party. Mikey's b-day is actually in September, but the Back Pack decides to double the fun and they have another joint bday party in January for the rest of the clan. Since it has been pretty hot, they had lots of fun water games and then the kids enjoyed superhero cookies and cupcakes. Joshy actually shares a birthday with our step-mom Ramona.

The following weekend we went to Jazzy's little friends joint b-day party at Pump It Up. Matt is in her preschool class and Reese is his equally fun cousin who is in the 4 year old preschool class. The kids love Pump It Up and had a blast! Taylor pretty much takes off and does his own thing, Jazzy has to have someone with her at all times, so Brooks and I were a little sore from climbing up the equipment. I made Brooks take her down the big slide, which is fun, but I am a weenie and without fail every time I get to the top of the slide I have this moment of panic trying to decide if I really have to do this. Brooks and I also decided to race each other through the obstacle course. In all fairness he totally would have beaten me if it weren't for the three kids blocking him from the final slide. We'll be having Taylor's party at Pump It Up (I think anyway, if we can get the guest list down a bit), so I took the opportunity to check out the party room and get an idea of how we could decorate. For all the planning I have done for other events, I always seem to drop the ball when it comes to the kids b-days. Not this year! Brooks still asks now why every party has to be like a Sweet Sixteen. Oh, that poor man hasn't seen anything yet! I have started my spreadsheet for Tayor's birthday as and soon as we figure out whether we can do one big party or will do two smaller ones, we'll be good to go!

This weekend we have my little brother Gabe's birthday. But, in true Mexican style, it hasn't really been planned yet. I am hoping they decide to barbecue because I am in the mood for some carne asada. We've actually only been to dinner there once since we've been back. I've asked Brooks a couple of times if we could call and see if we could go over for dinner; in true white man fashion he thinks we'd be imposing though. So the only rice and beans we have had (since I am not allowed to make beans) have been at Taco Tote and On The Border.

Finally, it is Sam and Katie's birthday on October 27th. I can't believe those kids are going to be 13! We went to Grammy's ranch last Friday for a visit since the kids had the day off for a grading day, but since Sam and Katie are in a different district they were still in school. I did however catch a glimpse of their birthday wish lists, which both included ipads. Thank goodness my kids are cool with Transformers and Barbies now. I'd like to prolong them being expensive teenagers for as long as possible.