Trick or Treat!

In true fashion, Taylor and Jasmine changed their minds quite a few times about what they wanted to be for Halloween. In September Brooks took Taylor to see the Avengers at the movie theater and Taylor was also invited to his cousin's Avengers birthday party which sealed Taylor's fate as Iron Man. He's also figured out he is a lot like Iron Man and I can't help but think of the line from the movie where he calls himself a "genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." We've got to work a bit on the philanthropy part for this kid, the billionaire bit and we can just skip the playboy thing.

We knew Jazzy would be a Princess and she eventually decided to be Aurora and then began telling everyone about it. EVERYONE. All cashiers for every store we visited during the month of October, strangers we passed on the sidewalk, Taylor's teachers and the school crossing guards, random citizens...you name it.

We went to Taylor's Harvest Festival at school last Thursday, then a Trunk or Treat on Saturday and found a fun neighborhood where quite a few houses were decorated to do our trick or treating. The kids had a blast and like all responsible parents, Brooks and I have been quality inspecting/tasting the candy.

Nothing to write...yet tons to write!

At first I thought I would just whip out a post and then end it with "Oh yes I did just write that post without mentioning how long it's been since my last post!"

I am feeling rather snarky and confident these days.

But, when I say down to write I had NADA! Not one thing!

If I went back and re-capped what it's been like since March or whenever I wrote last, this post would go on for-evah.

It will come out over time I suppose, but for now the big news is we are back in Phoenix. (Actually we've been back since June). Brooks LOVES his job, kids are happy and mom has time on her hands! And with all of this time I have been thinking a lot about what I need to do for me. It's been weird not having my time booked with stuff- usually for other people- but still stuff. I am in a weird funk trying to figure out what I want to do and how I am supposed to do it. And that is why when I sat down to write I had nothing to write, yet tons to write. So for now this will do. We're here. We're alive and healthy. We're doing stuff and for my own benefit I need to be better about writing it down.

Solutions?

My sweet little man has had a rough couple of months. And just when we thought he was pulling out of it, it seems he's right back in it. Wednesday's therapy session then was horrible and I cried. A lot. Brooks asked afterward if it looked bad that he didn't cry. I know he's upset; I am sure everyone else can see it too. He just isn't a crier, and that's OK. We were talking about explaining abstract concepts to Taylor and somehow that lead to us having to acknowledge that although we were trying really hard, we just weren't getting the results we wanted.

And that's the thing.

This is so, so, so much work. Much more work than I hope other parents ever have to do. But in the end, no matter how much work we seem to be putting in to this we get no where. We have an angry child who doesn't like the word "imagination", we have a sweet little boy who stares at us blankly when we try to explain something, we have to look at each other and even though we don't verbalize it, we know we've failed. And it hurts so bad. It is the worst feeling ever to know you can't help your child.

On Wednesday, three kids in class were teasing Taylor, part of which included telling him "Your mom is in your backpack!" Taylor was so upset because he thought this meant I could shrink and he did not want me to shrink. Never mind what it really meant, the literal is what we always have to address. On Thursday he was elbowed in the eye on accident by another kid in his resource class, when we were asking him about it, he kept insisting that it hurt because he wiped his eye, again missing the part that he had to wipe the tears from his eye because he was elbowed first.

I am so tired of hearing that it won't always be like this. No one can say that for sure and that brings absolutely no comfort to me now.

Today though, I learned of an Autism walk next month that we will for sure participate in. And then I saw this video that made me cry because I couldn't help but think of Brooks. I know he hurts and I can't even imagine what it must feel like for him. But I know that he will always fight for and take care of Taylor.

Lazy Morning

I am loving this moment! Little Man climbed in bed with his daddy and they began talking about dogs and re-telling silly stories...doggies and their love for peanut better, Brooks chuckling as he remembered our first doggy eating food off of the counter.... It was sweet, and my heart filled with love just to watch the two of them talking.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day seems to be a perfect example of the ideal plan,  indecision and then change that is the theme of our family these days.

Originally, when Brooks and I first decided to move back to Tucson we knew we wanted to go to McMahon's for our Valentines dinner. This was exciting for a number of reasons. McMahon's is a fancy steak restaurant. I love steak and we both appreciate food, perhaps maybe too much. But, McMahon's is also where we had our very first Valentine's dinner, ten years ago.

Back in those days, things were a little different mainly because we didn't have two little kids to consider when making our plans. I remember Brooks picked me up at my parents house, late of course. Now I know it's because he is always late (or is that me?). Then I thought it was because he lad a trick up his sleeve, like a surprise limo to take us for dinner. Alas, there was no limo but he did buy me the Hallmark Kiss-Kiss bears (remember those?) and a pretty aquamarine necklace. After that we went back to his apartment for a bit, then left for the restaurant. We enjoyed a yummy dinner, followed with chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. It was a perfect Valentine's Day especially since we'd only been dating a month! I was completely swept off my feet.

We always go out for Valentine's Day now, even with the kids. The only thing is our venue of choice and gifts are a little different. Really, I can't remember the last time we got each other a gift other than a small box of chocolate as we attempt to eat the kids chocolate be calorie conscious. And restaurants have always been kids choice. So this year I was so excited to have a real date involving a fancy, kid- less dinner.

Brooks has been watching the online reservation system for McMahon's for months. When Valentine's Day finally opened up, he swooped in and got us the perfect dinner time. We figured my dad would babysit and everything seemed good. But then horror upon horror- McMahon's released their menu for the night which was lobster, shrimp and steak- and I don't eat seafood!  Brooks thought it was no big deal and we could still go, but for a $150 dinner I wanted to actually be able to eat my dinner. So the practical side of me won over my heart and we decided to go somewhere else. We settled on another steak restaurant, but really after McMahon's didn't work out, I didn't care so much where we went. I talked to my dad about babysitting, which also meant getting Taylor to karate and that didn't seem to be working out either. Then he broke his wrist, so I knew that for sure it wouldn't work out as he couldn't drive his car and my step-mom wouldn't be home from work in time to take him to karate.

So, in the way of the Wintemutes, our big plan is no more and we changed or mind about a few times and finally "settled". Brooks is going to get off of work at 4:00 and we are going to have an early dinner at  Red Robin (the kids ecstatic choice) which is pretty much across the street from his work, at the romantic Tucson Mall. Then we are going to go straight to karate (the 30+ minute drive should give Taylor's tummy enough time to settle).

It will still be fun and it will work. It just won't be steak, strawberries and champagne.

Waaaay behind. Yet again.

So here I find myself, yet again, behind on blogging. It looks like the last post was in November, for something that happened in October. So  FOR REAL,  this time will be the last time I fall behind.

I like writing, I really do. I like blogging and I like reading everyone else's blogs. The problem is I sort of developed this inability to multi-task like I did in my much younger days. Whenever I have a lot on my mind I now just sort of freeze and can't seem to do any one thing as well as I could before. Generally, I talk a lot (yeah I know), but when I am thinking I am quiet.

So here goes with the re-cap...

November was Thanksgiving, which we spent at my Dad's house and had a huge potluck style meal. Brooks and I love to eat, so this was just perfect. Taylor had a cute performance with this class where they sang songs and did a short Thanksgiving play. Taylor also had a sleep-over at Grammy's house, and the kids happened upon a worm in the dirt by where our parking spot is at our complex. We picked him up and moved him to some bushes and they visited him multiple times a day. I should have blogged about it at the time, because it was super cute. It was also super rainy-so I fear the worst for "Wormy" but the kids decided he simply became a caterpillar and that's why we never found him again.

We also finally won our case against Adam, prolonged because he would never respond. But it didn't matter because the loser still didn't pay. But, he moved and we had a lead on where so it was just a short matter of time before we'd find him.

December was a crazy, busy month. Taylor's amazing teacher announced she'd be taking an early retirement, which kicked my CEO duties into high gear. We organized a goodbye Italian-themed potluck for her which nearly the whole class came to, on top of speeding everything else up we'd had planned for before the winter break. Of course inside I was panicking just because Taylor had done so well with her and I was so afraid he'd regress with a new teacher.

We also found Adam thanks to the tip of someone we never actually met, but he'd managed to piss off in just the few months he knew her so she was happy to let us know where he was. Thanks to that person, we learned his address on a Thursday afternoon, filed the Debtor's Summons paperwork with the court on Friday at lunchtime, then hired the process server that same day and he was served on Saturday morning. We really wanted a court date before Christmas as it only seemed right to add a little extra holiday stress for him as we were feeling the financial crunch of having to pull off a Christmas like our kids deserved with less money in our account. We ended up with a court date the first week of January. But whatever. At least we had a date and if he did not show, a warrant would be issued for his arrest.

Taylor's birthday was December 9th, but between everything going on at school and at home, we asked if he would be OK with putting off his actual birthday party until after the holiday break and he was totally fine with it. We did have Taylor's Day of Fun which included me bringing (his choice) Taco Bell beans for lunch at school, a birthday celebration in class with Space Cuties, dinner at his choice of Pizza Hut, cupcake with his Cub Scout Den, and finally a star cake at home. Plus presents from us and Grammy and Papa.

Jazzy had an adorable performance at school. This kid is seriously the cutest, and I hope she always knows how much we love her even though we are both fully aware she doesn't get her fair share of the time/attention/money from Mom and Dad.



Christmas was up in Phoenix with Grammy and Papa, who had returned from Spain, but were oh-so-tired and never quite seemed to get over their jet-lag. Which was actually OK as we were all nursing colds, so we weren't able to make our planned visits with friends and didn't do much for fear of spreading our germs. We did however venture to a Who-Ville themed gingerbread house display at one of the resorts. And it was just nice to get away for a few days. Tucson had become a major stressor for Brooks, yet  I remained optimistic we could work through it.

And finally, Santa sent us an elf to watch over the kids. Cuddly was a constant source of entertainment as he seemed to get into just about everything. The kids miss him and are hoping he'll come back for another visit before next Christmas.

January was another whirlwind month. Grammy and Papa visited us from Spain for a day and Marlene made my favorite, chicken parmesan. The kids loved having them over and it felt nice that this time they had a couch to sit on and a TV to watch. The last time they were over we had just moved in.

We held Taylor's Wall-E themed birthday party at Chuck E Cheese and it went off amazingly well. I went crazy before hand preparing and planning, as you can't find much of Wall-E anything anymore. Our friend Rachael decorated his cake, he was so happy and he made out like a bandit on gifts. Happy kid = happy parents.

Brooks' birthday was also in January, but it was decidedly more low key. The kids and I bought him a new dress shirt at the mall, which was supposed to be a secret but they were all too happy to share. I had to order this digital razor he wanted, after running all over town trying to find it (of course, at the last minute) so that didn't come in until a few days after his birthday, but we did go to dinner at Chili's. It's really too bad Chili's does not have a punch card or some type of points program, as it is our go-to restaurant.

Taylor started having a tough time in January. Every morning is a barrage of excuses why he can't get up and go to school. He also started acting out in class, being super wiggly and argumentative at home. He's been getting really upset about death as well, too. We tried what we could, asked for help and then began waiting for a psychologist referral from his pediatrician. Waiting sucks.

My sister and her family came down for Taylor's birthday, so we had a January birthday party for them at my Dad's the night before Taylor's party and then we celebrated again at the end of the month at Texas Roadhouse for my Dad and Bella's birthday. Whew! Apparently whatever month is 40 weeks before January is a popular time for my family to feel the love.

We had our court date with Adam, he actually showed up with shocked us. I was a tad disappointed because I really wanted him to do something stupid, not show and then get arrested. But turns out we'd get the best of both worlds as he showed up to our appearance, got reamed by the judge then the judge created a court ordered payment plan for him. Which should mean we 'd have a payment now, and we don't still. Shocker-right?  But- he did manage to get himself arrested in December and had to post bond. Thanks to all of this being public information, we learned he was cited for speeding and driving on a suspended license with an open container of alcohol in the car. Which would make his third DUI in Arizona. I am hoping he'll make some new "friends" in jail. Oh- and I'd still like my money back.

The Pinewood Derby was held in January, conveniently right after Taylor's Chuck E. Cheese party. The cars were a nightmare to design and carve, including a complete re-build two days before the race for Taylor's car. In the end, they both came in last, but just like the Space Derby they didn't seem to care as their cars looked cool. The coolest, if I do say so myself.

We went back to Phoenix for a quick visit with friends we missed seeing while we were sick over Christmas. It was nice and oh my gosh do I miss them. And we both miss Phoenix. Every day I find myself weighing the pros and cons of this move. The biggest con is Brooks' job. The money is nice, but the stress is approaching overwhelming.

 Jazzy started ballet. Her class is Friday mornings. It's so nice and quiet and easy getting her ready and out the door to class. Taylor is at school so it is just Jazzy and Mommy time. Superbly sweet and perfect Jazzy and Mommy time.

Finally, we booked a much needed vacation to Puerto Rico! Brooks and I have had Puerto Rico on our brains for a while now. We finally just decided that we miss vacations that involve airplanes. Money is tight, it may always be, but we need to do things that make us happy. The kids are interested, I don't know if they get that this is a pretty amazing place and not your average spring break vacay. Someday though, we will have albums of trips just like Brooks' mom keeps. And my kids will have the wisdom, insight and appreciation that travel brings.

And with that, Bring on 2012!

Halloween in Pictures

GQ Taylor at Buckelew Farms

Taylor and his green pumpkin

Literature Parade at school

 Jazzy as Cinderella

Cub Scouts Fall Festival

Science Spooktacular at the Planetarium

All dressed up!

We stopped at Tata's house first

....and then went trick-or-treating with the Hambacher's